Strange reality

As I left the gym this morning a young black man, no more then 17 or 18, with a backpack on, was wandering down the street, eyes unfocused, staggering, making guttural inarticulate sounds that at first I mistook for an odd sort of greeting, and then caught myself, embarrassed at my white middle-class-liberal eagerness to show that his out-of-place-ness in that mostly white neighborhood didn’t bother me. But internally my senses went on alert immediately- was he dangerous or just pathetic or both? That unfocused walk and disjointed reality were mirrored by the radio news in the car- what country am I living in? It feels disjointed and dangerous, divided against itself, no common purpose. I am grateful for work I can come to, for now, that gives me a sense of purpose, and for friends and a larger life away from work that connects me to others. It’s a grey day today, much rain in the forecast. MomCat is failing and that saddens me. She is such a good friend and has been such a vital part of our lives these last years. She is our only alley cat to date that has lived long enough to decline. We will do what we can to make her old age comfortable.

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